They had no idea
by Cassie Studios
Summary: Everyone had a pretty accurate idea of how England felt towards America, but no one really knew what America thought about England. No shonen-ai, just a brothers/friends fic. USxUK.


**A/N: **Hello, this is my first Hetalia fanfic, although I've been a fan for two years now. It's UKxUS, but no yaoi/shonen-ai - I'm not really fond of this type of thing.

Hope You enjoy and don't forget to review after reading :)

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**They had no idea**

England loved America. As a younger brother, as a protégé, as that little kid that he once took under his wings. He loved the cute, childish smile, loved the way the kid would always talk about being a superhero one day and he loved that small spark in his blue eyes when something caught the kid's attention. Granted, that love had been put to test and ultimately enclosed in bitterness when the kid – no longer a kid, really – declared independence from him. That day England cried out of pain, frustration and the feeling of being betrayed, but mostly because he also felt helpless: he knew that he had America at his mercy, that he could have tried a little more and won this war, then he could have dragged the kid home and given him hell for what he'd done, and yet it wouldn't have changed anything. America was leaving him and there was no way to prevent it. Even if England physically forced him to stay, their relationship wouldn't be the same. America would always look for ways to writhe out of his grip and be free. He would never want England as his guardian again; never smile when England came to visit him; never be his younger brother, but only an adopted colony struggling for independence in the shadows – and one day America would have succeeded anyway. Back then, at the end of the Revolutionary War, England knew that he was losing the person most precious to him and that there was nothing he could do about it.

Others vaguely knew about England's feelings towards America. The two would always fight and bicker, but the love – mutual love – showed in small things, helping each other out, worrying when the other got into trouble or those little affectionate moments, when England would offer America chocolate on Valentine's Day or when America would admit that he did want England to dress up with him on Halloween no matter what.

Well, to be honest, no one really had any clear idea of what was going on in America's head. They suspected that he cared for England much more than he would let out, but no one knew for sure. The way he always turned England down was quite confusing.

Neither the others nor England himself knew how exactly America felt about his former guardian.

They had no idea that America loved England just the same way he did all those years ago, that he still admired him (albeit thinking himself to be his equal now) and that he still liked his presence around. He just wasn't a child now, so he wouldn't be so open about it.

They had no idea that America had spent a great deal of time worrying that England would not talk to him anymore after the Revolutionary War. That America declaring independence wasn't a desperate move to escape from England, but that it only stemmed from America's internal need of being his own country and had nothing to do with the way he felt about his guardian. That America's feelings for England have stayed intact after the war, always strong and exactly the same.

They had no idea that when America was having a particularly bad dream, he would still wake up in the middle of the night, clutching at his sheets and calling England's name. That he would silence himself after realizing how stupid it was and go back to sleep, only to have the very same thing happen next time he had a nightmare.

They had no idea that in America's mind, "England" still translated into "safety" and "protection", although America himself did not quite realize that either.

They had no idea that America only bickered with England because England had acted cold towards him after the war and he wanted to fight back. Because he felt his cause was right and he shouldn't be receiving this much hostility just because he wanted to be independent, like every other country in the world. But he didn't really mean all those malicious words that he threw at England, he just did it to keep up the pretenses.

They had no idea that America always felt happy when England did something affectionate for him, because it proved that England still cared for him, even after the Revolutionary War. Even after America had always been so obnoxious and insensitive about the subject of their relationship (and about everything that related to England, actually).

They had no idea that he did it only because he didn't want to admit that sometimes – just sometimes – he still saw England as his awesome big brother. And that he really didn't know what to do when England offered him his friendship, how to show him that he wanted to be friends too without completely embarrassing himself, so he chose to act the same way he always did. It worked for him.

They had no idea that after that rainy day, when England was on his knees in the mud in front of him, America realized that their relationship was going to change more drastically than he had thought and that the change would probably be irreversible, that they would never be able to act around each other like they did before, that they will never be brothers again – and it frightened him and crushed him, because he never meant to severe their relationship in this way and to hurt his former guardian so much that he would not even fight him anymore, just crying helplessly and letting things happen.

They had no idea that the night after that day America cried too, for a solid couple of hours, feeling frightened and lonely and trying his best to convince himself that one day they would be able to rebuild the relationship they just lost. That one day they would be able to call themselves brothers again.


End file.
